The News - For Now

After all the shit hitting the fan of the last several weeks, I finally was able to meet with my Medical Oncologist, Dr. Rebecca Kaltman.  Here's the news so far:

• 12 treatments of Taxol and Herceptin once a week and then re-scan;
• Tumor marker and blood level baselines taken to check progress as we go (if the liver readings get better, things will be seen as progressing positively);
• Once the scan is done, re-assess what to do next. My goal is to get these time bombs off my chest but the doc says we can't delay needed treatment for surgery.  Okay, she's got me there.

So it's kind of a wait and see.  Interestingly, in spite of my exhaustion and anxiety, I've come to an acceptance of this.  I'm scared and don't know if the drugs will kick this cancer (I am hopeful though). Yet at the same time, I'm willing to accept what happens. I'm not saying I'll be giving up, I'm just not going to throw my mind out trying to figure this out. It'll be Que Sera, Sera, except without Doris Day singing in the background.

I'm still exhausted (last night was about 12 hours worth of sleep once the doc finally realized I was still taking the steroid dose that applied to the previous chemo regimen and reduced that dose)..  I'm hoping once I'm able to sleep well again, things will even out a little bit. Meanwhile, the front of my stove, fridge, and dishwasher are lickety split clean. 

Anyone coming to my house, please at least take a look at those fine appliances. This may be the cleanest they will be in a long time, because after this I'm going to sleep.